For some this might appear as staged tall story packed with impossible inaccuracies, but for some residents of Brisbane, it is a daily gauntlet of duck and dive for cover ;-(

Let us begin…

Whilst escaping the office for a bite to eat, I found myself sitting on a Cathedral Park bench.

Being just before noon, the park was pleasantly quiet – peaceful – the shade much more inviting than the office aircon.

Here St. Johns Cathedral replaced my dull and somewhat depressing LCD monitor with source code and customer complaints.

Initially, many meters ahead of my park bench enjoying the sun was a couple of magpies.

Normally ferrous and generally impolite wildlife, they wandered ever closer and closer to my bench. It didn’t take long before I realized that these birds wanted my lunch.

Every bite was met with an advancement of the magpie front line.

Slowly as I chewed, their approach became more and more uncomfortable
- for me !!! Maybe it was the fear of being out numbered – ambushed.

Magpie cyclist attack damage

Magpies have been known to derail cyclists and demolish high heels. It was only a week or so ago that I saw a magpie force a crow to crash land on the paving. A couple meters more and the oncoming Turbot street traffic would’ve been involved. Possible broken windscreen?

Magpie territory warning

Very confident protected specie – perhaps arrogantly confident?

I could easily have stretched my arm out and given Captain Magpie a good old slap, but as the beady eyes filled my view, I capitulated (because of legal ramifications!).

Late last year a copper got fined $2000 for shooting an aggressive magpie.

The magpie couple probably didn’t fill in their 2008 tax return and even if they had, they probably wouldn’t have received the ATO $900 tax refund this month.

With no tax refund to bank on and starving, maybe the couple had a couple chicks to feed? Who knows.

Sorry and somewhat apologetic, I left them with what remained of my lunch. My butt hadn’t even left the park bench when the magpies dive bombed the lunch.

This was yet another successful Magpie Attack.

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It’s Sunday afternoon and you’re sitting on the deck minding your business reading a stock market self help guide book.

Hopefully the share market wisdom buried somewhere within the text and tutorials will give you all the answers you need to hopefully dig yourself out of the short selling financial stock market hole you successfully and skillfully dug for yourself.

Then without warning a dark and somewhat sinister shadow blasts past within inches of your sensitive sun baked head.

Within a split second not only has your financially sensitive heart missed a couple beats, you’ve also lost your stock market guide book page !!! CPR has hit rock bottom – liquidated.

As with the herd mentality, financial ruin should be shared – CEO’s excluded

Seriously peeved, you look for somebody to blame.

Before my eyes a Brush Turkey had landed and started destroying a newly planted spring herb collection.

Backyard brush turkey in Brisbane

Not only does the stock market have damaging inconsiderate financially destroying wildlife, so too does my Brisbane backyard. Within minutes, this turkey had scratched a hole that made the domestic dog bone burying skills seem amateurish.

Damaging video evidence is included here.

Whilst I might have lost my bookmark in the turmoil – at least this turkey didn’t hide in the boardroom – deserves to live another day – escaping the dinner plate.

How about a well stuffed Bear Stearns – grilled just right ?

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