“Multiple Sclerosis is an autoimmune disease characterized by the destruction of the nerve myelin layer“.

Well that pretty much what the neurologist said to me and ofcourse, I knew exactly what that meant in – in plain English please!

Thrilled, I parted with yet another $100.

Myelin is the protective sheath that surround nerve cells – primarily a protein based layer. MS can affect numerous body functions with symptoms that may include visual and speech impairment, memory loss, depression, tiredness, muscle weakness, loss of coordination, numbness, bowel and bladder problems.

I kinda interpret this as messing with body’s electrical system.

To ensure that I had no metal on my body and being fashion conscious – for a good looking MRI – I stripped down and jumped into the hospital gown.

The only good thing about the gown was the breeze between my legs! After all these years I finally understand why girls love those really short skirts

The MRI machine has limits, so before being slid into a tube, a really good looking brunette asked me how much I weighed!! I wonder what she was looking at?

Even with the ear plugs, the MRI machine is frigging loud! Being confined and squashed in a tiny cold tube doesn’t help either. After having the pleasure of gluing a jack-hammer to my skull for just short of an hour, I parted with $518.

What really peeved me off was that straight afterwards, I asked the radiologist if the MRI showed anything. The cold answer was my referring neurologist would answer that question. Surely a radiologist can say, “Yeah mate, you’re screwed!”, “Could be…”, or “No worries”?

Another week of suspense to follow – getting an appointment is really difficult.

It seems that here in Brisbane there is a definite shortage of neurologists and MRI machines. One could also interpret this as Brisbane is filled with a whole load of head cases

The six inches of real estate between your ears is the most valuable – some people have less.

The scans had a couple white spots – lesions - and that signified MS – well almost. The MRI also revealed some old scar tissue which meant some lesions had existed at some previous point in life.

So for my next $100 diagnosis, I got a comment on the scarring and scribbled note for a second MRI visit of the brain – the search for brain lesions.

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